the storm after the storm

Image courtesy of Albert K. Ryan © 2010

Screw it. Forget the rainbow after the storm. For me, it's one storm after another. I'm just drowning in a torrent of emotions right now. Like I said, there's a void that I need him to fill. It's too bad that I'm not like other girls; I can't just accept anyone to fill that hole. It has to be him. I guess that gap in my chest will remain empty until he falls in love with me too or until I move on in a few years.

I'm so... emotionally unstable that I don't even know what else to write.

Am I too selfish, too greedy, too optimistic? I want him to love me even though I don't match up to him at all in intellect, talent, discipline, ethics, morals, accomplishments, et cetera. He couldn't possibly want such a worthless womangirl. At merely seventeen, I'm not even a woman yet!! He's caring and I'm just downright cynical. He's compassionate whereas I am indifferent. I'm confused and he's focused. We're really of two different worlds!

I don't want to live through Valentine's Day alone. For the first time in a long time I'm afraid of being alone. I wonder what he's going to do on that day? Who will give him chocolates? Will a new love bloom for him? Will he forget me like he has forgotten me? I don't want to be forgotten by people I (have) love(d).

I can't be happy for very long. He's only given me so much fuel to run on. I miss him dreadfully. (Incidentally, "missing [someone] like crazy" isn't actually proper English. Use "miss" + a noun or a pronoun + an adjective instead.)

Hrm, seems like I've lost my steam. Well, I suppose I'll attempt to get started on my Pohlmann homework now...

Posted by miyavicake at 6:09 PM