it's always on my mind-- no, he's always on my mind.
it's unfair.
he gives me butterflies in my stomach, he makes my throat clench up, he makes me blush, he makes my heart pound and my palms sweat. (ew, i know. haha.)
i'm sure i love him... or am i?
at first i was content with feeling all giddy whenever i talk to him.
then, i read a line in a manga that goes something along the lines of "love is supposed to be comfortable. love never needs to worry about what to wear, what to say, or what to do."
now i'm not sure.
on top of that, Grace told me that "love is unconditional" and that it's something like "learning to look pass the faults" of a person.
sure, that's all fine and dandy but in our imperfect world, love is way more capricious.
okay, i am sure i love him.
i'm not sure, however, if i want to love unconditionally and comfortably.
i want to worry about my appearance, my actions, my speech and i want him to do likewise.
if all relationships were unconditional and comfortable, our standards would be so low.
no, i don't like that. i don't want to give up everything just because i love a person.
no, love should be of mutual benefit; it should be symbiotic.
because he is so hardworking and diligent, i shall be too.
because i am very open and affectionate, he shall be too.
couples in love should cannot be blinded by love; they shall look to incorporate the strengths of the other into their own personalities.
do not merely think of your loved ones as your equal: instead, think of them both as your greatest teacher, your best friend, your best critic and as well as someone you love.
that's my philosophy anyway.
i think of him that way and i hope he thinks of me like that too... eventually.
on a completely unrelated note: I HATE YOU, DR. POHLMANN! TAT
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